[ he tries to keep telling himself that everything is okay now. he's safe. donatien-san is gone. it's going to be okay, masaomi is here and he's wearing his clothes and he's holding him and the costs weren't bad and he isn't mad that he got hurt again and it's going to be okay because he's safe beause masaomi is here but it's hard to believe himself about that right now so he just shrinks down and doesn't move and lets himself be held. ]
[He holds on tight, burying his face in Mikado's hair. He doesn't know what else he can do. It's hard to remember all the way back to the days when he himself could feel that kind of fear and damage after something traumatic. It's been a long time since anything's really left him that vulnerable. Upset, yes, but... Nothing's been new and frightening like that in far too long. He's not sure how to deal with it in Mikado, besides staying close like this, but he can at least do that much.]
[ this is good. holding him and loving him is good enough. he doesn't know what to do to make himself feel better, to move past this himself. ...Should he not mention it? No... That might seem like an insult to anyone close to him. ...He should just... Let them deal with it. Shouldn't be trusted to do anything on his own anymore. He almost died again. Again and again and again and again this happens and he's starting to feel like it might supposed to.
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[He holds on tight, burying his face in Mikado's hair. He doesn't know what else he can do. It's hard to remember all the way back to the days when he himself could feel that kind of fear and damage after something traumatic. It's been a long time since anything's really left him that vulnerable. Upset, yes, but... Nothing's been new and frightening like that in far too long. He's not sure how to deal with it in Mikado, besides staying close like this, but he can at least do that much.]
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after awhile, mikado finally stops trembling. ]
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I'm sorry, Mikado. I'd make it hurt less if I could.
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You are.